O, Doctor Banner - A Science Bro's One-shot
by SuzumeHatake96
Summary: Bruce couldn't help but blush all over. "So… you're saying that having sex will cure your fever." "In simpler terms, yes." "You're an idiot."


_**I AM ALIVE. SORT OF. YOU GUISE.** I'VE BEEN AWAY FOR SO LONG AND THIS IS WHAT I COME BACK WITH, IM SORRY. Anyway, this thing right here is basically a thing (ha this thing is a thing) I was doing with a friend of mine, which put the avengers in random WTF Facts scenarios. This was basically the one assigned to me, so I hope it's better than I actually think it is. Enjoy ~_

**_Fact_**_**:** Having sex while sick can help cure a fever. _

**_Pairing_**_**:** Tony Stark/Bruce Banner_

**9:30 P.M.**

"I feel like _crap_."

**9:38 P.M.**

"Hey, Bruce. Bruce?"

**9:45 P.M.**

**"**Holy motherf- My _head_.

Bruuuuuuuuuuuuce."

**10:30 P.M.**

"Okay Bruce, I kinda need you."

"Come on, buddy, don't leave me hanging."

"I know you're down theeeeere."

"Shit."

**11:53 P.M**.

**"_BANNER_"**

Bruce sighed as he turned on the lights and pressed the pause button. Tony Stark was standing arms crossed in front of the projector, blocking his view.

"What is it now, Tony?"

"I've been _calling_ you!"

"Tony, I'm busy. Just tell me what you need."

"You've never been too busy for me before…" Tony muttered under his breath, pouting with his head down. But Bruce could hear him across the room, and shot a shy smile towards him. "I think I'm coming down with something."

"… What?"

"My head is _seriously_ screwing with me, bro."

"That's what you wanted to tell me? Tony, I'm kind of in the middle of something."

Tony let out a purposely loud sigh. "What could be so important?!"

"Figuring out how in heaven's name you survived the wormhole, for instance."

Bruce pointed to the screen. It still bothered him, that time in New York. He could let it go just as much as Tony could. Frame by frame, Tony fell. He played it one last time. Tony turned to watch as the Hulk caught him in midair.

"Whoo. Thanks for the save, buddy."

The doctor nodded and ran a tired hand through his ruffled hair.

"Anyway, why didn't you just ask for an aspirin?"

"JARVIS says I shouldn't rely on meds. My body would be even more of a wreck." He stroked his goatee as he though. "I need something natural. Why don't you prescribe me something?"

"I'm not that kind of doctor, Tony."

"Oh? What kind then?"

"I…" He broke off as Tony placed himself on his lap. The rolling chair backed up as it took Tony's weight, and with a push, he separated them from the desk, messing up the countless papers and scribbles Bruce had made over time.

"You know," Tony gave a playful smirk. "Thor found this interesting thing on the internet the other day."

_Oh shit_. Of course Thor would be messing with the tower's Internet again.

"Apparently, engaging in sexual intercourse makes the body release endorphins, you've heard of endorphins right, Bruce, and acts as a natural pain killer."

Bruce couldn't help but blush all over. "So… you're saying that having sex will cure your fever."

"In simpler terms, yes."

"You're an idiot."

"Even _you_ know it's true!"

Indeed he did. It was a fact well known by the doctor, but never in his right mind would he even consider the possibility. Tony was bluffing, he thought. He just wants attention. Suddenly his toys weren't good enough for him. He had a whole tower to himself, for God's sake.

"Won't you help me ease my pain, O, Doctor Banner?" He brought his hand to his forehead and dramatically leaned backwards.

"No."

"Bruce."

"No way, Tony."

"_Please_"

"Since when do you beg?"

"Since right now that I want you to come _upstairs_ with me."

"NO."

"BRUCE BANNER. If you keep refusing, so help me, I _will_ be a pain in your _ass_ all night." He got a hold of his shirt and curled it in his fists.

"Go upstairs, stay here. Wouldn't you do the same anyway?" Bruce was mocking him now. He brushed Tony off him gently and stood up. "Just this once."

Tony lifted up in his spot. "Sure."

"And… only if we can cuddle afterwards."

"DEAL." Tony jumped from his seat and rushed Bruce into the room. He knew Bruce's soft side. Appealing to it would surely win him some points. His eagerness made Bruce question the truth of his claim to have a fever. He had not bothered to check his temperature or ask any more questions. But Tony made him want to play along. He would definitely get this fever cured.

**2:25 A.M.**

The night had come an gone rather quickly for both men, filled with muffled sounds and low, quiet breaths in the dark. The sheets covering their lower bodies became tangled and stained with sweat, as obviously predicted. They both felt a bit embarrassed for what they had said and done. In the middle of the night, Bruce couldn't help but snort with laughter at the constant "Yes, Bruce, make those endorphins" and "So you _do_ wear the underwear I got you" type of expressions.

They were now both in bed, Bruce sitting up and Tony with his back to the ceiling.

"So?" Bruce asked, almost out of breath. Despite being the talker of the night, Tony hadn't said a word in the last ten minutes. "Did your headache go away?"

Tony turned his head and smiled. "No, actually. You went in too hard."

Bruce shot him a glare and then gave his back to him, covering himself with the sheets. "I am never doing this again."

"Oh, come on." Tony laughed and closed in on Bruce. His warm breath sent chills up the doctor's spine. "You rocked my world."

"You bet I did." Bruce said, irradiating his annoyance through the sound of his voice, blushing all over.

Tony pressed his torso against Bruce's back, feeling the warmth that still lingered between the two of them. He buried his face on his messy hair and sighed.

"Wanna go again?"

"Go to sleep, Stark."

* * *

**A/N:** WELL WASN'T THAT WEIRD. Anyway, feel free to comment, rant, share feelings, thoughts, ideas, whatever your minds desire. Thank you so much for reading. (i swear I'll get back to the fics, i promise, don't kill me)


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